Ain't 2 Proud to Brag

"I'm so proud of you Kolleh" 

A line that has always been so foreign to me

After all I'm just a little Liberian girl whose struggling to find her place in the world... 

I went against my word and found myself at BGSU Homecoming 2014. A function I vowed to never attend again -Pause before you deem me Hollywood I have LEGIT reasons- But after heavy persuasion from my Day Ones I was speeding down 75 hitting  exit 181.

Everything felt so familiar yet in the strangest way. The place I called home for four years now felt like foreign territory. For gawd sakes I had to call and get directions to the TURN UP.

After a couple of hugs from my old falcons and two mixed drinks I was back in my element. Running into people I hadn't seen in years brought back the good memories that I had tucked away. Being away in New York for so long I forgot how it felt to be in a place and have history with just about everyone in the room. I felt this natural high that I didn't expect to feel on this trip back to BG.As I decorated the bar of rounds of two dollar shots I was greeted by a guy I'll probably never forget

Grandaddy Brent....Met him in HIS apartment in nothing but his boxers as a ratchet ass freshman up to no good. While we deemed him  a grandpa that disliked any fun looking back now he was a senior that was just trying to graduate that lived in apartment with the modern day Too Live Crew. It's safe to say Brent thought the Ward family would be nothing more than college dropouts with about 3 babies and 4 baby daddies. -Yeah I said that correctly-

Seeing him reminded me of that young girl I use to be. As we caught up over drinks I reminded him of how poorly he thought of my friends and we laughed because his assumptions were justified.

"I'm really proud of you Kolleh" 

a line that I heard all weekend. Countless people wanted to know about my life and new found job. They shared their admiration for me and how they somehow knew I reached be able to accomplish all that I have. Most of them were males that once were the head haunchos on this very campus but somehow I managed to slide by them in this real world and now they were intrigued.

-In my mind I had to ask myself what could they be so proud of. I'm struggling to adjust to this new company and role. I'm still trying piece my life back together. HELL most days I striving to find out who I really am and what's my purpose in this life.-

I finally got to chat with a guy that I had known since i was 18 and he finally enlightened me on something I failed to see for myself. "You made it to a point where some males can only dream of going"

I finally realized for myself that it's time to be pride of my own accomplishments. It's time to take a moment and relish in the things that I have worked so hard to break through to.

I am a 24 year old female that:

Went to college on a full ride for leadership

Moved to NY and MADE IT

Planned an events for Jaun Paul Gaultier and UNICEF

Worked for an international company: Remy Martin Cognac

Works for Sean "Diddy" Combs 

An anchor for my family and friends

It's okay to pat yourself on the back sometimes. It's okay to take a step back and really look at your accomplishments and say YASSS I did that. I'm so hard on myself and I want so much out of this life that I have forgotten what it feels like to be proud. To be proud that I haven't let the obstacles that I faced in life defeat. I had an amazing time at homecoming catching up with people that watched me go from ratchet to a sophisticated ratchet. LOL

P.S.  OH I ran into Mr.BiGGS best friend... lets just say I successfully crossed him of my "Get Balled on List"

XOXO

Kolleh